Found a working port of Dosbox to install on my jailbroken Surface RT.

I'ma have some fun now.

Minor rendering errors aside, (because IE, obviously), Fimfiction works nicely! ^_^

IT WORKS! POSTING ON FIMFIC VIA SURFACE RT! IT DIDN'T BRICK!

I'm just gonna hope it all goes well. I'm on the final stretch of ~150 updates, and this time, I'm not going to install any updates marked optional, no matter what. And if I happen to end up accidentally doing so, I'll follow what one user on the support page said they did, and fully shut down the system and start it again instead of a soft reboot like what normally goes on after an update.